Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Dear Diary,

Dammit! My whole "innocent girl" look is ruined because of the jackass who got my photo. I really need to cut back on those lines- I mean martinis. See, I put this goldilocks dress on and curled my hair so that everyone would think I'm the innocent Hilton. I mean, Paris has flashed her ass all over town. Someone's gotta be responsible ya know? Damn. When I find the jackass who took this photo I'm going to have daddy sue them.


Dear Diary,

I'm getting worried that people just aren't finding my excessive thinness and skeletal figure sexy anymore. So, from now on I'm going to try and scare the shit out of everyone. I'll have to cut back the botox injections to about 2 a day as opposed to the 5 I was getting. Makes my face unable to move much.

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